i thought everything would get better. when i was 11, i dreamed about the future, but if this girl found out about who she had become, she would be very upset.
i thought everything would get better. since i was 11 years old i hought that it would get better. but the further i went, the more i fell into my loneliness. i can't see anything beyond it, just darkness. and it hurts me so much, and i'm so ashamed in front of my little self that i let her down so much.
i rarely cry, but today i broke my record and cried for about three hours, and went to the embankment at night to stop it all, because i don't cry in front of people; but even that was an exception for today, and i just couldn't cope with myself. autumn rustled under my feet, the past played in my headphones, flashed before my eyes for moments, and loneliness ached in my chest. there were tears in my eyes, and the words i wanted to say to someone were frozen in my throat.
but in that moment i'm alone, completely.